Whaa?
by jedikhaleesi
Summary: Previously called Jedi Playing Games and stuck in the Clone Wars category. Completely revamped- a bunch of funny (I hope so, at least) drabbles. Updated whenever I feel like it. Chapter 3: Why did Yoda start speaking like that?
1. Chapter 1: Go Fish

**Chapter 1: Go Fish**

"Go Fish!" Anakin crowed triumphantly at his Padawan.

Ahsoka frowned and grabbed a card from the deck. "How can you not have any threes? Didn't you ask Padme if she had any threes, like, four rounds ago?"

Obi-Wan answered, "He did, but I took them. By the way, Ahsoka, do you have any threes?"

The Togruta scowled at him and passed him her three of clubs. Anakin laughed and then put on his "intense" game face. It made him look constipated. "Okay, Padme. Do you have… wait…"

Ahsoka and Padme giggled at his face. "Wait… just a second… oh. Do you have any aces?"

"No. Go Fish."

He sighed and grabbed a card from the deck. Padme assumed her politician face and glared at all three Jedi. They practically wilted under her gaze, which was exactly what she wanted. "Obi-Wan."

"Uh… yes, ma'am?" The Jedi Master asked, frightened.

"Do you have..." she paused for emphasis. "any kings?"

"Yes, ma'am," he muttered, and passed her two kings.

Padme smiled, satisfied. She now had three kings.

"Padme?" Ahsoka asked, half terrified at the prospects of what she was going to do. "Do-uh- you have-um- any kings?"

"AGH!" the Senator yelled in frustration. "YES, DAMN YOU!" Then she threw the three kings viciously at the young Padawan, the king of hearts landing on Ahsoka's knee, the king of diamonds two feet away from their circle, and the king of clubs falling limply in front of the Togruta's foot.

"Uh- thank you," Ahsoka whimpered, picking up her cards.

Still having an expression of complete and utter terror on his face, Obi-Wan tentatively turned to Anakin. "Anakin, do you happen to have a six?"

Mace Windu, who had been passing by the four of them, stopped and stared. "Master Kenobi, what did you just say?"

"I asked him if he had a six."

"Why would you ask him that?"

"We're playing Go Fish," Ahsoka explained to the Jedi Master, suddenly deciding to smile brightly up at him. "Do you know how to play?"

"Yes," Mace answered. "But, you see, I have important Jedi Council business…"

"No, you don't," Obi-Wan said indignantly. "If you did, I would too. Or have you forgotten I'm on the Council with you?"

"Uh…" Mace rubbed his head and then sat down on the ground with the four of them. "Oh, all right, I'll play Go Fish with you."

**Gasp! Our heroes reduced Mace Windu to a player of child games! **

**Please read and review!**


	2. Chapter 2: Capture the Flag

**Jedi Playing Games**

**Chapter 2: Capture the Flag**

**Remember, read and REVIEW please! :D**

"I can't believe we're doing this," Anakin muttered.

"It's a team-building exercise, so you have to put up with it," Obi-Wan told him sternly, crossing his arms.

"Still," Ahsoka said, echoing her Master.

They were playing Capture the Flag. On Team 1 were Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Padme, Captain Rex, Aayla Secura, Kit Fisto, Plo Koon, and Depa Billaba. On Team 2 were Chancellor Palpatine, Commander Cody, Mace Windu, Yoda, Barriss Offee, Luminara Unduli, Stass Allie, Adi Gallia, and Shaak Ti. Right now, as you can tell, Anakin and Ahsoka weren't exactly pleased with the game they were playing.

"I'd rather play Go Fish," Ahsoka whined. "This is stupid."

"ANI!" Padme yelled from the other side of the field. "HELP ME! THEY CAUGHT ME!"

"Don't worry, Padme!" Anakin said heroically, thrusting one hand in the air and placing another at his waist like Superman. "I'll save you!"

"WELL THEN, HURRY UP!" The Senator shouted.

At that, Anakin ran across the field, Force-pushing Master Unduli and Master Yoda out of his way. Little did he know that Master Yoda would get annoyed by that Force-push...

So just before he'd managed to reach the "fort" where Padme was, Master Yoda Force-pulled him back and hit him with his gimer stick.

"Ow!" Anakin exclaimed, rubbing his shin. "You little troll! That's not fair!"

"Tagged, you are, Jedi Skywalker," Yoda said, nodding a little too wisely for the atmosphere. "With the Senator, you must go. Wait for help, you must."

From the other end of the field, Aayla Secura rolled her eyes before sprinting into the opposing team's side. She had her eyes on the hoop where the flag lay, and no one was going to stop her-

"Stop!" Padawan Offee ordered, suddenly appearing in front of Aayla, activating her lightsaber.

"Uh, no," the Twi'lek said, activating her own lightsaber. The two began dueling straight in the middle of Team 2's side, blocking anyone from Team 1 who might try to get Team 2's flag.

"Aayla, you idiot, get out of the way!" Plo Koon yelled. "That's the only way we'll get the flag!"

"So you can get the credit?" Aayla shouted back. "No way!"

Plo sighed, exasperated, then turned to Captain Rex. "Set your blaster to stun, Captain."

"Yes, sir," Rex said, confused by this order.

"Shoot Commander Offee. Now. And preferably General Secura, too."

"Uh... yes, sir." Rex went down on one knee and began aiming.

"Master Ti!" Mace Windu yelled at the Togruta. "Get the Captain!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" Shaak said mockingly and ran, lightsaber activated, towards Rex. She did the one thing she'd always wanted to do as she ran- released her battle cry. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Plo ran to meet her, and they promptly clashed lightsabers, blocking Rex, who only moved over to aim at Commander Offee better as he shook his head at his generals' sudden immaturity.

Depa Billaba saw Commander Cody casually step over the boundary line and make his way sneakily across. She immediately Force-pushed him into their "fort" for captured "prisoners", and the clone practically flew into the marked zone, yelling, "UNFAIR! That's unfair, General!"

Anakin bent over laughing at the clone, not even noticing Ahsoka steadily making her way towards him and Padme. Suddenly, Palpatine appeared in front of them, stretching his arms out, and bellowed, "HALT! IN THE NAME OF THE REPUBLIC!"

Ahsoka stopped, eyes wide. Obviously, she was confused.

"Hey!" Padme protested. "You're not supposed to use your power for Capture the Flag! Cheater!"

"Shut up," Palpatine ordered. "In the name of the Republic."

Padme rolled her eyes. "Geez. Ahsoka, I, Senator Amidala, order you to continue in the name of the Republic."

Ahsoka started forward, relieved, until Palpatine yelled again, "HALT, JEDI! IN THE NAME OF THE REPUBLIC!"

This time, the Padawan ignored him, simply flipping over him, and grabbed Padme by the arm. "I'll be taking Senator Amidala with me, Chancellor- and you can't do anything about it."

"Fine," the Chancellor grumbled. "Be that way."

Padme grinned at Ahsoka. "Thanks."

MEANWHILE- Rex aimed carefully. _There- almost got her- just a second_- and then he pulled the trigger.

Barriss fell down. Aayla looked pleased and turned towards the hoop with the flag inside it.

"NOOOOO!" Luminara yelled, and charged Rex, who was now standing unprotected.

"HELP!" Rex shouted, terrified, and began running away from the crazed Jedi Master.

Aayla reached down and grabbed the flag, but just as she turned Mace put his lightsaber to her neck. Yoda was hobbling over, presumably to tag her, but Aayla wasn't going to let herself stay that long.

She kicked Mace in the chest and ran for her life.

"GO AAYLA!" Depa cheered, drawing the attention of Adi Gallia and Stass Allie, who promptly looked up from where they sat, making daisy chains (Depa didn't know how they'd gotten them, the field was artificial turf). At the sight of Aayla running across the field, with an angry Yoda and Mace Windu running after her, the two Jedi Masters got up and started chasing the Twi'lek as well.

"WOOHOO!" Kit yelled happily as Aayla crossed the line with the flag held up triumphantly.

Yes, Team 1 won Capture the Flag, but it took some time for Barriss to wake up, Luminara to stop chasing Rex around, Mace to stop bellowing "AAYLA CHEATED!", and Ahsoka, Anakin, and Obi-Wan to stop laughing.

**So... what do you think? Review please! And put in some questions for Truth or Dare... I'll probably change the rating of the story from K anyways.**


	3. Chapter 3: Yoda Speak

**Yoda Speak**

**As you can see, I've completely revamped this story. It's no longer Jedi Playing Games, it's Whaa... (end of sentence). It's just gonna be a bunch of random funny drabbles whenever I feel like updating. Yeah. ONWARD.**

Yoda looked around his Council chair, absolutely positively utterly bored. The Masters were currently chatting about how ugly Chancellor Valorum looked in his new suit and how gorgeous his wife looked in her dress at some ball.

"This is so boring," he said out loud.

And it was. Like, really boring. So boring even meditating was boring. And we all know that Jedi are never bored (at least when they have meditation as an option).

"Hey, I know!" he exclaimed, randomly reaching out with his gimer stick.

Everybody looked at him.

"I'll start speaking weirdly so that no one will understand me! It'll be fun!"

"Oooh, good idea!" Yaddle shouted. "Can I do it too?"  
"Sure!"

"Can I?" some other insignificant Master who was not the uptight Mace Windu but was still somehow significant enough to be on the Council asked randomly.

"No!" they yelled at him. "Then it's gonna be weird!"

"Then why can you two do it?" the Master whined.

"Because," Yaddle said, "then people will think it's a trait of our species and won't question us! And then another advantage- if a Sith somehow takes over the Republic and wipes out the Jedi and we somehow escape to an ugly swamp planet like Dagobah, we'll be viewed like crazies and won't be exterminated!"

"Ooh, good reason!" Yoda said, clapping his hands together excitedly. "Yay, let's start now!"

"Okay! Umm... let me think. Wait! Got it. Let's switch verbs and subjects! Like... Hideous, Chancellor Valorum looked yesterday."

"Agree with you, I do," he replied, nodding wisely.

"I wanna do it too!" the random Master whined again.

"Shut up, you must," the two old crazies said in unison.


	4. Chapter 4: Red Code Emergency

**Red Code Emergency**

Ahsoka was watching a movie on her datapad while Anakin and Obi-Wan (the former rather unhappily) played chess. Suddenly, Shaak Ti burst into their quarters, waving her arms around wildly.

"RED CODE EMERGENCY!" she screamed, causing one of Anakin's pawns to fall. "CODE RED! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY! YOU HAVE TO COME, OBI-WAN! NOW!"

The shouted-at Master looked up at her calmly, capturing another piece on the chess board. "Now what's the emergency, Master Ti?"

"It's really bad, Obi-Wan. You have to set on the huge red emergency alarms NOW!"

Ahsoka paused her movie. "Aren't those only turned on if something like, say, the Sith killing off the Jedi happens?"

"It's worse than that," the older Togruta breathed. "You have to set the alarms on, Obi-Wan! You have to!"

Right then, the lights turned off, quickly replaced by red ones. What was worse? The alarms turned on, cutting through the usually peaceful Temple with loud, piercing shrieks.

"Looks like somebody beat me," Obi-Wan said, moving his knight into position.

"Master, maybe we should check out the situation. Master Ti is really worked up about it," Anakin remarked, sliding his rook diagonally three squares.

"That's not how you move your rook, Anakin. And you don't want to check out this emergency. Trust me."

"Please, Obi-Wan! You _have_ to help!" Shaak begged, clasping her hands together.

"I'm going to regret this," the Master sighed, and shifted his queen one space left. "By the way, checkmate."

He got up, gesturing for the Togruta Master to go in front of him, and she grabbed his wrist, whisking them both out into the hallway. Ahsoka shook her head, put down her datapad, and followed, Anakin behind her.

The red lights flashed, and the sound of panicked talking filled the air. On seeing Master Ti, Master Alann rushed up to her and yelled over the alarms, "What happened? What's the emergency?"

"We-" she paused, trying to hold in her sudden tears- "We- we ran out of poker chips!"

Ahsoka laughed but pretended to cough.

Anakin's mouth made an 'O'. "So that's what you meant."

"OHMYGOODNESS!" Master Alann screamed. "OHMYGOODNESS THIS IS WORSE THAN A RED CODE EMERGENCY, MASTER TI!"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "And this, Anakin, is why you need to listen to me."

**Sorry, really random. I was writing down random words for a list of prompts. Later.**


End file.
